Growing up, I grew up in a home where my parents taught me how to budget. The importance of tithing and saving. When I got my first job out of high school, the financial opportunities were wide open and that is what filled me up. Forget the drinking, money was my choice. It was a quick fill me up, gave me a high. Oh I wanted those $50 jeans at American Eagle or Gap, swipe the card, I felt good for a few hours. Then the bills came in and I just spent more and more and more. I was in a bad spot financially and could not get out. My parents knew this but didn’t say much, until one day my mom took me and all my bills to a debit consolidator to try to consolidate my debit. This worked for a short time but I went right back to spending more than I made and not paying the bills. Oh but the phone calls from the collectors, well I ignored those. I took my debit into my first marriage. My dad and ex husband paid off all my debit so there was not the responsibility as my debit had been paid. Being in a marriage where my husband took care of the finances left me with no worries. We did fight about money frequently but the card debit never came back.
Then I divorced my husband and there was financial responsibility on my and only me. I went and get a few credit cards so I could live the life style I wanted to but again, got so far in debit that I couldn’t get out. I always took the maximum out on student loans so I could buy what I wanted to. I was NOT RESPONSIBLE. I DO NOT RECOMMEND DOING THIS! I then got to a place where I had to move into a bedroom, yes a bedroom and rent from another lady while trying to make ends meet. I then met my husband who was with me on this journey and knew sort of what I had gotten into.
I filed for bankruptcy. It cleared all my debit away. It provided a new opportunity to get cards. Yes, you can get credit cards after filing for bankruptcy with VERY high intrest. I don’t recommend this either. You see, I got a card for Ulta, I thought, wow I can belong to a place that makes people beautiful. Buying power. I had gotten a few other cards and got the balance fairly high. I applied for a lone to get the balances down. So, I got the balances paid off or low on some of them. More buying power. What I didn’t think about was that I was paying off a loan that I borrowed to pay off borrowed money on credit cards! Crazy, I know but when you are in the middle of pain you do things that give you a high and make you feel good.
So, here we are 2019 and God has been chasing after me hard to get a grip on my finances. This past Sunday our past Chris at Mill Creek Preached on “Money”. What…..they talk about that in church, YES! He made a statement that I could not even write down, my husband wrote it down, “You can not be a FULLY committed follower of Jesus and be financially LOST.” That HIT me like a ton of bricks! I always thought, well, I do this, this and this. I will get into heaven. But man oh man when we put things in this perspective it totally makes me reelvatue where I am and where I am going!
I have made a choice a few weeks back to start focusing on paying off my debit. I was at the kitchen table writing down my list of cards and debit and my mother -in-law asked me if that was a grocery list and I said, “No, it’s a list of my credit card debit.” Once I had the list made, I shared it with my husband who did not yell and scream but rather kindly said this is how we need to tackle this. Today, I paid off my first credit card!!!!!! I am so excited for a pastor and church who speak TRUTH into things in life that we may not always see as sin and that separates us from the love and joy and peace that God can give. I finally get what has been separating me from God’s abundant love and it was anyone else but myself!