Divorce

Say it ain’t true.  It is!  Not you guys!  Yup!  It’s true!  It’s happening!  Some may have seen it coming, others may have thought we were the farthest from divorcing.  But the time has come for Josh and I to go our seperate ways.  Yes, we know we will have to continue functioning as parents to three beautiful children!  We can do that!  We can be kind for our children.  We all though can not continue to be married to each other.  Many may question well what happened?  Who did what?  NONE OF THAT MATTERS!!!!!!!! I am not hear to air our dirty laundry.  If YOU or YOU or YOU have questions than feel free to email me at jjljohnson2003@yahoo.com and ask away and I will answer to the best of my ability!  The kids don’t know and won’t know until we feel it is the best time to tell them.  My friend and mentor Judy told me and encourages me to FINISH WELL!!!! And that is what I am working on doing.  Josh is working on this as well.  We are both taking care of issues that we know we both have to help us to become a better friend, mom, and hopefully spouse one day again.  I do believe that is possible.  This has nothing to do with the recent loss of my dad.  He knew about this before he died.  I know some may be surprised as I often said OVER AND OVER again that I WOULD NEVER EVER EVER in a million years get divorced.  Whelp it is happening and the one thing I ask is that YOU and You and yes even YOU would pray for Josh and I as we continue on this journey.  The one thing I can think of is GRACE.  How can you have a GRACE FILLED Divorce?  You don’t sit and point fingers at each other for all the wrong that was done.  You make a choice to do what is best for each other and for the kids.  You move on knowing you ended well.  I can NOT undo what has been done but I can CHANGE my future!  I am excited to see where God leads that future.  I don’t know what it will look like.  I do know these few things.  I will be moving out to an apartment in New Castle.  I will continue working.  I will continue to an active parent in my kids lives.  I will continue to be in school working towards my Office Administration degree with Elementary Education classes sprinkled through out.  My goal is to graduate in December 2014.  In my perfect world I would move to Lafayette and work at Purdue and get my Elementary Ed degree there but my plan is not always God’s plan.  I am doing very well and have peace about the future. 
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Dad

My dad passed away on Tuesday December 18th.  It happened quickly.  You see my dad had been fighting a nasty thing-CANCER!  He had Chronic Lymphoic Lekumia.  He had been fighting this beast for about nine years.  Each year over the past few years he would spend some time in the hospital due to low white blood cell counts.  He had a fair summer.  Grandma had passed away in May.  The lady he cared for so affectingly   He was in the hospital during her funeral but due to modern technology he was able to watch via skype.  We normally go to Iowa to visit during the summer but had not since the kids are busy and that overwhelms dad.  He came out to visit with Uncle John during August.  We got to swim with him and show him our FAVORITE place-The Children’s Museum in Indianapolis!  Dad started chemo again and had not been feeling well all fall.  Over Thanksgiving my brother went to visit my dad and took him to some chemo appointments and dad was receiving steroids   In December he went for a check up and chemo but had been running a temp so the doctor had him admitted to work on getting the fever down.  Dad had a port in and the doctor though as a last resort to take the port out since this had been the sight of an infection.  Taking the port had reduced the fever and he was feeling better.  I had not talked to Dad recently because it really tired him out.  I got most of my info from the nurses.  On Monday I called to see how he was doing and they said he was up and had a bit of the stomach bug.  Tuesday morning around 8a.m. I got the phone call no  child wants to get…well Josh got it….but that dad was failing fast.  I stopped everything I was doing and threw some clothes together to get going.  I did not drive myself out there but my mom and best friend Kim drove me.  My brother was already out there.  Dad did not want alot of fan fair for his funeral and he made sure that did not happen between the snow storm and this happening before Christmas.  Dad got his wish!  🙂  We will have a grave side in August when we go out to pass our roses and throw money in the pool just like dad would have.  I am glad that dad is in a better place with no more needles.  He HATED them!  And he is now whole to sing, swim and play cards as long as he wants to!  I am grateful I can say in the end I had a relationship with my dad of no regrets.  There are some days where it is harder than others because I was so used to calling dad up to talk to him.  I’ll post later about some memories I have with him.

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Friendship!

I wanted to share an older song I was listening to today on my ipod.  I am thankful for the many many many friends who have walked down life’s path!  I am thankful for the old ones, you know the ones you went to elementary school with….Jessi, and my cousin Jess who is the same age as I but lived in a different state.  Jess and I enjoyed spending time together at my Great Aunt Dorothy and Great Uncle Al’s farm in Iowa!  We had lots of good times out there!  Then there are those friends who you never thought you would not talk to but time and changes don’t always make that happen such as my BF in 5th grade Nikki Lodyga.  Or those friends who went through those weired stages with you in jr. high.  My BF’s then were Mary Baker and John Piper!  We sat together at every lunch and always had interesting conversation!  Then you go to High School!  For me that was a HUGE school where kids came from a large area and you already had your “group” of friends.  For me though I lost my “group” of friends to band or other activities and started all over again.  Thinking back I think I had two friends who were those “Thanks to you!” friends and they were Rene’ aka Piggy, and Jenny!  My Jenny sure made my senior year fun!  We made our schedules so we had almost all the same classes and she worked at Burger King and I at McDonald’s!  But we had a blast!  I had work friends who made working at McDonald’s fun!  Some of those McDonald’s friends I am still in touch with!  Then after graduation I went to march to the beat of my own drum and started attending GCC with the ever famous Josh Gregory!  I’ll never forget the first time I met him at McDonald’s, he was working in grill and I needed a ride home.  Sly entrusted me to ride with Josh home!  I made it home and we talked music.  Something we both knew alot about!  Attending GCC some of my best memories were made but some of the stupidest things were done during that time in life too!  How I wish I could reset the clock back to that time and redo my plans for God’s plans!  Alas such is life and we make mistakes we live with for life.  I got married, left life as I knew it and moved to Iowa!!!!!!  What a culture change but there I made friendships I still have today!  I am grateful to the one’s who helped me along in life such as Grandma Beth, Grandma Dotty, Deb Montgomery, Kori Doty, Kenton Elliott, Peggy Elliott, Karleah, Alissa, Dr. B, Tammy, Liz RN,   There are many more who walked those six long years with me.  Thank you for being there for laughter and tears.  It’s strange how when you go through life changing events those particular for me are the ones I still maintain contact with.  Maybe because they were crucial in keeping my child alive.  I am talking about the doctor’s and nurses who walked beside me each day during pregnancy, deliveries and hospitalizations.  You doing what you are called to do has forever impacted me!  Then there are those friends in Fowler/Lafayette area that were part of my life for 4 years.  I so wish that time would have been longer but not now.  Maybe again.  You ladies and gentleman shared many tears, laughter, joys and sorrows with me!  Deb, Kim, Ann, Patty, Beth, Crystal, Otis, Pastor Phil, Jaylene, Marie and many others!  I can not tell you how your laughter was good for this soul!  Thanks for helping out and listening!  Thanks for caring me through some of the hardest days ever!  Crystal there will never be a more funnier neighbor than you!  I am beyond grateful that I got to be your neighbor!  I could go on and on but for now…..Thanks to you!!!!!!  Love each and everyone of you!
Thanks to you!
By: Geoff Moore

I’ve been picked when I was low
And I never have been left alone
I know it’s true
Thanks to you

I have had my burdens shared
There’ve been valleys
That I’ve been carried through
Thanks to you

So I won’t let another moment slip away
Right here, right now
I’ve got to stop and say

Thanks to you
I’ve learned to laugh a little bit harder
Thanks to you
I never cry alone
Thanks to you
I know what it means to have a friend that’s true
Thanks to you

I remember all the walks
And all the crazy things that I got talked into
Thanks to you


And even now I’m amazed
When I think of all the ways God’s voice came through
Thanks to you

Through all the thick and thin
And places in between
We have been side by side
And that is why you hear me singing

Thanks to you
I’ve learned to laugh a little bit harder
Thanks to you
I never cry alone
Thanks to you
I know what it means to have a friend that’s true
Thanks to you
For never giving up
Thanks to you
For sometimes giving in
Thank you for always listening

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