Since last week, I’ve been in a funk and more than likely will be in this funk the rest of the month. I’m not a fan of funk’s because I am generally a very outgoing, happy, positive and bubbly person! I know exactly what caused it and I know it WILL pass because I WON’T stay in this funk forever!!! 🙂
Last week my mother had a heart to heart talk with me and said where you are at in this place of life you need to STOP the direction you are going and live on bear bones until you get your finances figured out. UGH….my stubbornness was NOT going to let money STOP me from going to Iowa. I have ALWAYS gone to Iowa in the summer ever since I was a little girl. This is ripping my heart to piece’s because we were going to be part of dedicating hymnals in memory of our dad, I was going to show the kids were Grandpa was buried but none of that will be happening this year and it HURTS. My kids took it okay. I know I’m taking it harder than they. Sandy (bonus mom) and Grandma is coming out to the lake to spend a weekend with all of us kids in August but still not the same.
And now I must face the reality that the job I LOVE I am not making enough to make ends meet and I must decided what to do. It is another sore spot because I can’t just transfer departments.
Then I won’t be seeing my kids for the next week as they are all at camp and the following week Lily will be at another camp and then in August they will be gone for two weeks. The sting of divorce is very open during these times because I want nothing more than to scope up my kids and love them!
Again this is just a season.
If you would pray for me I would appreciate it because I know HIS plans are bigger than mine!