These are a few things I have observed since attempting online dating!  

1) You can’t trust everyone!  i.e. they may say they are SINGLE but in reality they are STILL married!  Men and Women – Let me say this….if your STILL married, you OWE it to your WIFE or HUSBAND your marriage vows!  NO MATTER how difficult or HARD it may seem at that very moment that gives you weakness, step back, REMOVE your profile until your DIVORCE is final!  End of story!  Have some integrity!  Save yourself and the person you are pursuing the HURT!

2)  Because you are lonely and want to be loved and accepted DON’T COMPROMISE who you are or WHAT you believe for ANY GUY or GAL! 

3) Stating you want to “Cuddle” when you really have other intentions is plain WRONG!

4)  Your first meeting is just that!  A meeting to hang out and see if you click, not to see how quick you can get the other person in bed and undressed with you!

Until you realize how much you are WORTH and how VALUABLE you are, you will always be looking for another person to affirm you!  I’m not saying don’t purse a relationship because I have the same desire as you do, what I am saying is DON’T compromise and then regret it later!  As I have learned over the past year the dating world is NOT what it was and in fact has become so messed up that it breaks my heart to think that people don’t VALUE a relationship where you get to know one another with your clothes on and spend time enjoying each others company but instead it’s going to FWB or “Cuddling” and if you turn down the person to “Cuddling” you just don’t know what you want!  NO! I know what I want and I respect myself enough to draw a line and say HECK NO!

The Funk!

Since last week, I’ve been in a funk and more than likely will be in this funk the rest of the month.  I’m not a fan of funk’s because I am generally a very outgoing, happy, positive and bubbly person!  I know exactly what caused it and I know it WILL pass because I WON’T stay in this funk forever!!! :-)


Last week my mother had a heart to heart talk with me and said where you are at in this place of life you need to STOP the direction you are going and live on bear bones until you get your finances figured out.  UGH….my stubbornness was NOT going to let money STOP me from going to Iowa.  I have ALWAYS gone to Iowa in the summer ever since I was a little girl.  This is ripping my heart to piece’s because we were going to be part of dedicating hymnals in memory of our dad, I was going to show the kids were Grandpa was buried but none of that will be happening this year and it HURTS.  My kids took it okay.  I know I’m taking it harder than they.  Sandy (bonus mom) and Grandma is coming out to the lake to spend a weekend with all of us kids in August but still not the same.  

And now I must face the reality that the job I LOVE I am not making enough to make ends meet and I must decided what to do.  It is another sore spot because I can’t just transfer departments.  

Then I won’t be seeing my kids for the next week as they are all at camp and the following week Lily will be at another camp and then in August they will be gone for two weeks.  The sting of divorce is very open during these times because I want nothing more than to scope up my kids and love them!  

Again this is just a season.

If you would pray for me I would appreciate it because I know HIS plans are bigger than mine!

Spirit Song part 2

Friday night Lily and I went back to the hotel and took showers, we were a HOT mess!  We got to sleep around 12:30 and were back up and ready to head back to the park around 9:15 or so.  We got near Kings Island and we hit the traffic.  It took us about a half hour to get into the park.  It wasn’t all that bad as we jammed to Toby Mac and others.  We went on the Ragging River FIRST and we went on it TWICE!  We were the only ones in our raft and to say we were a sopping mess would be an understatement!  After the first round, I checked my shorts and they were SOAKED!  I didn’t even think about having Khaki’s on!  But they were soaked THROUGH and I asked Lily if you could see through my shorts and she was like YUP mom you have on Pink underwear!  Lovely!  Just LOVELY!  Thankfully my shirt was long enough in the back and covered the pink!  We went on the ride again and then headed towards over priced food and a show.  Lily is not much of a ride girl so, we went to a few rides and watched them.  We did go on the bumper cars though and she LOVED them!  We saw a few more shows and then headed over to the water park.  We may or may not have had ice cream cones without napkins!  It may or may not have been a SOPPING mess too!  We also went up in the Eiffel Tower!  That actually is a great place for a birds eye view of the park and to take pictures.  Next stop, water park!  It was INSANELY busy!  After a few rounds on the lazy river, I saw the storm clouds rolling in.  Lily wanted to go to the splash area and I watched and waited for them to close the water park.  They did and poor kid didn’t even get to go down one slide but safety first!  We changed and headed back towards the park and car.  We grabbed a quick snack and headed over to Timberwolf Theater, where Building 429 was playing along with Jeremy Camp and of course TobyMac!  Lily was SUPER PUMPED about TobyMac and our seats were dead center! PERFECTION!  It was raining some and Lily was complaining about being wet and I told we have been wet nearly all day!  By the time Jeremy Camp was half way through his set, the rain cleared and it was a perfect night!  TobyMac did NOT fail along with the Diverse City!  Amazing show!  After the show Lily finally decided to go on the swings!  She liked it after she got used to the feeling.  We went in the Eiffel tower again and then another ride and headed home.  It was a great time filled with wonderful memories!  We will defiantly plan on this again next year!  If you want a festival to go to, I HIGHLY recommend SPIRIT SONG!


DSC01705DSC01718 IMG_3416 IMG_3412 DSC01795 IMG_3405 IMG_3404 DSC01786 IMG_3401 IMG_3403 IMG_3399 DSC01827 DSC01767 DSC01826 DSC01816 DSC01813 DSC01809 DSC01763 DSC01791 DSC01743 DSC01736 DSC01729 DSC01720

Spirit Song!

Last weekend I spent a few days with Lily at Spirit Song at Kings Island. I had bought tickets back in March for the three day festival to celebrate her birthday. You see, instead of buying my kids a bunch of stuff they don’t really need, I am working to teach them the value of time and creating memories. For birthday’s and even Christmas we agree on an activity that we would like to do together rather than gifts and they actually LOVE it!

We were unable to go to Spirit Song on Thursday night but blessed friends with those tickets. I had initially sold my tickets for Friday and we were going to just go down on Saturday but the more I thought about it, I thought how CRAZY was I to drive down and back all in one day! I tweeted Mac Powell of Third Day and was able to get 2 tickets for Friday night! We arrived just a little before Matthew West started to play. We got in and had seats a few rows back from the side. It was an amazing time and Mac Powell asked for request’s and I YELLED “Forever!” He said, “Your Loud! And I don’t think I can remember the words! That’s an old song!” Needless to say this was by far the BEST Third Day concert I have been to, and I have been to A LOT as I have seen them in concerts since 1998!  I heard a little secret, to watch out for a new album coming from Third Day this fall with HYMNS on it!

You Matter!

Photo less Thursday!

Hi y’all!  I’ve been enjoying being busy at work!  A few things of interest!

  • I came to the conclusion on Monday that I could no longer keep up the crazy car payments and will need to get ride of my car and find a cheaper car.  When I told my mom this, she was speechless!  But I found out that my bonus dad has been praying for me on the way to work for “Common Sense!”
  • I am finally getting the idea that it’s way better to get the homework done BEFORE work and BEFORE fun because then, I can relax and enjoy them both!
  • We went to the Children’s Museum on Wednesday with friends and had a splendid time!
  • Monday night, I was chatting with a friend who said, let’s go to Starbucks!  We went to Starbucks and spent time talking about life!  She know’s my love language!
  • I’m grateful for my friends who hold me accountable and are there to make sure I’m staying focused and keeping the main thing the main thing!
  • I get to learn how to shoot hoops from Ruth Riley this next week!
  • And last but not least once again you never know the power of a QUESTION!  Last week, I didn’t see how I could swing going to Spirit Song at Kings Island for three days, so I put my tickets on ebay and sold my Third Day tickets pretty quick!  Well, the schedule came out and I get off in time to drive down to Kings Island Friday night for the concert!  I have points for my hotel stay too!  So, I checked around with a few people for tickets but no one had extra.  I really didn’t want to pay for the tickets because we will be pulling in just in time for Third Day, so, I asked Mac Powell via twitter if he could help me out and he checked and he could!  So, tomorrow night Lily and I get to celebrate her birthday over the course of TWO concerts!!! Third Day tomorrow night and Toby Mac Saturday night!  He is FAITHFUL!!!!  I keep thinking that I should be listening to his still small voice about doing some work in the Music Business.  Everyone keeps telling me that is my gifting, because I know so much and have the personality for it.  It’s all in His timing though not mine!
  • Oh and if I didn’t tell you already my baby boy jumped off the diving board!!! My dad would have been so stinking proud!  I know I was!
  • And one last thing I PROMISE!  My baby boy know’s that there is this HUGE Oloft where I work at!  It’s really dirty!  It’s a stuffed Oloft.  Every time we go into work, he wants to go see it!  He asked me who my boss was the other day and I told him.  He said well he’s really nice.  I agreed.  My little boy said “You tell your boss, I want to work for him so I can earn Oloft.”  I chuckled and said okay but you have to be a little bit older to work at there.  I love my kids!  They are the sweetest!v

One of those day!

Do you ever have one of those days where you wake up and…….

-You find not one but TWO emails from your professors granting you GRACE, in assignments!

-You go to the bank and the banker helps you out!

-You have to humble yourself and ASK for help!  (Not easy for me to do!  Much rather be the giver!)

-You LOVE your job!  Really, I do!

-While driving home from your awesome job, you have your iTunes on shuffle and the perfect song comes on to cap off the day of Grace giving you have received!  My friends Alanna Story have recorded this song “Never Once”!  The message in the song is so powerful!  Because God is ALWAYS there, with us!  He NEVER leaves us nor forsakes us!  It is US who moves away from him!  Sit and bask in all that HE has done for you today!

Aren’t we called to so much more than Conformity?

This past week I have had a few conversations that have left me speaking how I am feeling about the institution called the church.  I mentioned to one co-worker that I had been married to a pastor and it’s kind of funny to watch peoples reaction because they are like well, I believe in something higher, but I just don’t know what.  I explained that I am NOT that kind of person.  I am not a bible thumper and after being in the church for 35 years, I only believe that the church helps you out in your walk but does not define who you were as a person. 

A different day, different co-worker, I mentioned that I was having to make friends over again and that most of my friendships have stemmed from the church.  She said well why don’t you find a group in the church to make friends.  Without missing a beat, I said I didn’t want to hang out with hypocrites.  That is the first time I recall ever saying that but the less time I spend in the institution called the church, the more I see it.  

I don’t want to conform to a bunch of rules that I can’t keep, I don’t want be in a little Christian bubble.  I want to reach those who won’t step foot in a church.  I want to hang out with those who look weird, have tattoos and do things that your told to NEVER do because that would be unchristian!  You won’t find me doing these things but if we don’t reach beyond the 4 walls of the church who will?  I want to hang out with those co-workers who believe in something higher but are not sure what.  These are the people I want to be around.  

I still need Christ because without Him I am NOTHING!

National Scoliosis Month!

The month of June is National Scoliosis Month!  While I have a slight form of the actual scoliosis that most people know about, I have conquered Severe Scheuermann’s Kyphosis TWICE with the help of my amazing surgeon Dr. Saad Khairi at Goodman Campbell Brain and Spine in Indy.  I have written about my journey man places in my blog.  So, I will do a photo highlight of my journey. :-)


This is my back at 109 degrees the day of my first surgery in September of 2010.  You can’t really see that my heart and lungs were being crushed.


This is my back post op at about 63 degree’s.  A “Normal” curve in your back should be less than 35 degrees.  This is fused from T2-T12 and there are no vertebrae just rods and screws.  


Standing tall at home!


The back view.  Yes, it looks a bit gross BUT look how much straighter it is! 

Then, came the day I went to the doctor in April of 2011 and he told me this,


That you have BENT TITANIUM rods and we will have to do surgery AGAIN!  But never fear, Dr. Khairi wasn’t going to mess with my back until we had a second opinion from the master brain behind the rods and that was Dr. Bridwell in St. Louis.  BOTH of the doctors agreed that they would do the EXACT same surgery.  Back in I went almost a year later for a 12 hour surgery like this!


Yup!  I went into the OR like that! Never fear humor and attitude KNOCK the FEAR in the butt!


I came out with this beautiful back and new stainless steal rods!  Broke from T-2 to L-3!



And now 3 inches taller and FINALLY a teeny tiny tad taller than my mom!


My awesome doctor and NP who rocked these surgeries and for ANY spinal surgery I would ONLY go to a NEUROsurgeon! 




Bonus Dad and Grandpa’s!


My “Bonus” dad is Bill!  He stepped into my life into 1990 when I was in that awkward stage of 5th and 6th grade.  He had a daughter who became my sister but she was only 2 or 3 at the time.  What does an engineer do with an awkward “bonus” daughter?  He treats her like his own.  He takes her on “dates”.  He teaches her what to look for or not to look for in a future husband.  He is a provider.  He puts up with his house being torn apart because I antagonized my brother to no end!  He took us to Purdue football games and to South Padre Island every spring break.  He created a home that was safe.  He balanced working as an engineer and figuring out how to deal with a free spirited daughter.  I still don’t think he is quite sure what to do with someone like me!  But he sure tries!


I think he might of felt like this most of the time, intense!


Yes, my sister is hard of hearing and we know sign language.  This was at the airport in 1997 coming home from Spring Break.

Another important person in my life was my Grandpa Campbell.  That is my mom’s dad.  He taught me through his life how to love well and care deep.  He loved my Grandma until her dying day.  I’ll never forget how during one visit, he had gotten up at least 10 times in an hour to adjust the thermostat because it was too hot, then it was too cold and rather tell Grandmother to put on a jacket he took care of her and never complained.  He would chuckle.  He was a man of faith and read the bible each morning.


Grandpa and I getting ready to drive the tractor in the parade.  He was a farmer.  And I was the only granddaughter for many years!


Grandpa and I getting ready to go out to the farm!  Nothing but Kool-Aid over all’s!



The love my grandfather had for grandmother was unconditional!

The final person, whom had an impact on my life was my Grandfather Cobb.  He was very stubborn and was always cold!  It didn’t matter the temperature outside but he always had on 2 or 3 or 4 wool sweaters!  He was a salesman and always made sure we had good shoes that fit.  He also played the piano until the day he died.  He would go to the nursing home and play for people younger than him!  My favorite song for him to play was “Ally Cat”.  My Grandpa Cobb would fish, garden and make Grandma make jam!




So, last week when I heard that Kevin Max was leaving Audio Adrenaline, I thought “oh, man, He brought a new element to Audio A!”  I understand why he choose to leave Audio A.  In fact you can read it right here…. There was no ill feeling’s but the band was going in a different direction musically than where Kevin wanted to be.  Audio A is going to be leading worship with Acquire The Fire and to be honest I just don’t see Kevin Max doing worship for Acquire The Fire.  Two totally different venus and to be honest I am COMPLETELY and TOTALLY excited that Kevin Max is doing music on his own and sounds fantaboulse!  I want you to watch his new Single “Infinite”!  I love it, it sounds some like Larry Norman and has a good rhythm to it.  The message is rich because,

“HIS Love is Infinite!  

His Peace is Infinite!

He is Infinite!”

Kevin Max-Infinite

If you like this go to iTunes and download it!!!!